Friday, June 20, 2008

The Middle Wife.......

In a message dated 6/12/2008 8:48:21 A.M. Mountain Daylight Time, writes:The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher; I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself,but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second gradeclassroom a few years back. When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessionswith my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually,show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, modelairplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never,ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug itin to school and talk about it, they're welcome. Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid,takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillowstuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother,and I'm going to tell you about his birthday''First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad puta seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for ninemonths through an umbrella cord.' She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not tolaugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching herin amazement. 'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh,Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walkedaround the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doinga hysterical duck walk and groaning.)'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn'thave a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to liedown in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against thewall.) 'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in casehe got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, likepsshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands mimingwater flowing away. It was too much!). 'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of asudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that theyall said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be alot of toys inside there.' Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it'sshow-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, jus t in case another 'MiddleWife' comes along. Now you have two choices...laugh and close this page or pass this alongto someone else to spread the laughs. I know what I did!!! Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to make someone happy!

Friday, June 6, 2008

What Goes Around Comes Around

The man slowly looked up. This was a woman clearly accustomed to thefiner things of life. Her coat was new. She looked like that she had nevermissed a meal in her life. His first thought was that she wanted to make funof him, like so many others had done before.'Leave me alone,' he growled.To his amazement, the woman continued standing. She was smiling -- hereven white teeth displayed in dazzling rows. 'Are you hungry?' she asked.'No,' he answered sarcastically. 'I've just come from dining with thepresident. Now go away.' The woman's smile became even broader. Suddenly theman felt a gentle hand under his arm.'What are you doing, lady?' the man asked angrily. 'I said to leave me alone.'Just then a policeman came up. 'Is there any problem, ma'am?' he asked.'No problem here, officer,' the woman answered. 'I'm just trying to getthis man to his feet. Will you help me?'The officer scratched his head. 'That's old Jack. He's been a fixturearound here for a couple of years. What do you want with him?''See that cafeteria over there?' she asked. 'I'm going to get himsomething to eat and get him out of the cold for awhile.''Are you crazy, lady?' the homeless man resisted. 'I don't want to go inthere!' Then he felt strong hands grab his other arm and lift him up.'Let me go, officer. I didn't do anything.''This is a good deal for you, Jack,' the officer answered. 'Don't blow it..'Finally, and with some difficulty, the woman and the police officer gotJack into the cafeteria and sat him at a table in a remote corner. It wasthe middle of the morning, so most of the breakfast crowd had already leftand the lunch bunch had not yet arrived. The manager strode across thecafeteria and stood by his table.'What's going on here, officer?' he asked. 'What is all this. Is this man in trouble?''This lady brought this man in here to be fed,' the policeman answered.'Not in here!' the manager replied angrily. 'Having a person like thathere is bad for business.'Old Jack smiled a toothless grin. 'See, lady. I told you so. Now if you'lllet me go. I didn't want to come here in the first place.'The woman turned to the cafeteria manager and smiled. 'Sir, are youfamiliar with Eddy and Associates, the banking firm down the street?''Of course I am,' the manager answered impatiently. 'They hold theirweekly meetings in one of my banquet rooms.''And do you make a goodly amount of money providing food at these weeklymeetings?''What business is that of yours?''I, sir, am Penelope Eddy, president and CEO of the company.''Oh.'The woman smiled again. 'I thought that might make a difference.' Sheglanced at the cop who was busy stifling a giggle. 'Would you like to joinus in a cup of coffee and a meal, officer?''No thanks, ma'am,' the officer replied. 'I'm on duty.''Then, perhaps, a cup of coffee to go?''Yes, ma'am. That would be very nice.'The cafeteria manager turned on his heel 'I'll get your coffee for youright away, officer.'The officer watched him walk away. 'You certainly put him in his place,'he said.'That was not my intent. Believe it or not, I have a reason for all this.'She sat down at the table across from her amazed dinner guest. She staredat him intently. 'Jack, do you remember me?'Old Jack searched her face with his old, rheumy eyes 'I think so -- I meanyou do look familiar.''I'm a little older perhaps,' she said. 'Maybe I've even filled out morethan in my younger days when you worked here, and I came through that verydoor, cold and hungry.''Ma'am?' the officer said questioningly. He couldn't believe that such amagnificently turned out woman could ever have been hungry.'I was just out of college,' the woman began. 'I had come to the citylooking for a job, but I couldn't find anything. Finally I was down to mylast few cents and had been kicked out of my apartment. I walked the streetsfor days. It was February and I was cold and nearly starving. I saw thisplace and walked in on the off chance that I could get something to eat.'Jack lit up with a smile. 'Now I remember,' he said. 'I was behind theserving counter. You came up and asked me if you could work for something toeat. I said that it was against company policy.''I know,' the woman continued. 'Then you made me the biggest roast beefsandwich that I had ever seen, gave me a cup of coffee, and told me to goover to a corner table and enjoy it. I was afraid that you would get intotrouble. Then, when I looked over, I saw you put the price of my food in thecash register I knew then that everything would be all right.''So you started your own business?' Old Jack said.'I got a job that very afternoon. I worked my way up. Eventually I startedmy own business, that, with the help of God, prospered.' She opened herpurse and pulled out a business card. 'When you are finished here, I wantyou to pay a visit to a Mr. Lyons. He's the personnel director of mycompany. I'll go talk to him now and I'm certain he'll find something foryou to do around the office.' She smiled. 'I think he might even find thefunds to give you a little advance so that you can buy some clothes and geta place to live until you get on your feet. If you ever need anything, mydoor is always opened to you.'There were tears in the old man's eyes. 'How can I ever thank you?' he said.'Don't thank me,' the woman answered. 'To God goes the glory. ThankJesus.. He led me to you.'Outside the cafeteria, the officer and the woman paused at the entrancebefore going their separate ways. 'Thank you for all your help, officer,'she said.'On the contrary, Ms. Eddy,' he answered. 'Thank you. I saw a miracletoday, something that I will never forget. And ... And thank you for thecoffee.'If you have missed knowing me, you have missed nothing. If you have missedsome of my emails, you might have missed a laugh.But, if you have missed knowing my LORD and SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST, you havemissed everything in the world.Have a Wonderful Day. May God Bless You Always. And don't forget that whenyou 'cast your bread upon the waters,' you never know how it will be returned to you.(Hope this is repeated many times today!)God is so big He can cover the whole world with His Love and so small He can curl up inside your heart. HAVE A SUPER GOOD DAY!!!